a mothers day post..

men beware.. this is gonna be sappy! and mostly random too. and probably really long. i wanted to post something special for mothers day.. not just because my mom says i dont write about her enough (love you mom) but also because i love being a mom so much. right now.. at 2:15 wednesday afternoon.. there are 6 sleeping babies in my house! they are everywhere.. and they are all so special to their families. i am so blessed that they pay me to play with them all day so that i can spend all the time in the world with kennedy and korb. dont worry .. i dont have 6 babies everyday. i am just helping out another provider in my neighborhood for a few days. i have 3 full time day care kids that are very special to me... anyway. not the point. it just feels good to be a mom..i know that mothers day is a silly commercial holiday but im thankful that someone (even if it was mr hallmark) created it!

heres whats really on my mind.. a few weeks ago kennedy (and korbin) and i went for a pedicure on a saturday afternoon. there werent two spa chairs open together so we sat facing each other (korbin in my lap). eventually a spot opened up next to me and a woman sat down. she was around my age...and she was admiring the little man. seeing that i was talking to someone else kennedy called my name. the lady said .. oh is she yours too? i confirmed. and then she told me that she has a 5 year old daughter. i asked if she was her only child and she said yes..well, she is now. awkward... quickly i changed the subject. as we continued to visit she told me that she had a baby girl last summer. a few weeks before korb was born. she died in october from a sudden virus that attacked her heart. she was 9 weeks old. so there i sat holding my beautiful 7 month old... and her daughter should be the same age. i had tears running down my face. i told her that i was so sorry...what else could i say? she told me not to worry..she obviously didnt have to tell me, or even sit next to us. she wanted to. we talked forever. she told me that she had a brother in the area and that he had a little boy in november..and that it was hard for her. and that their relationship had suffered. and that she felt selfish about it. she told me that her first little girl was not her husbands. and even though they have a wonderful relationship, he had been so excited about his own baby. and how its been so difficult for him. (i know what you are thinking...could the asians paint those toes a little faster !!!) but it wasnt really awkward any more at that point. we had really hit it off for some reason. eventually i asked if she was from mckinney..she said no.. a little town in the panhandle. which game me chills. kinda like the first time i found out nikki was from muleshoe! just a little close to home..small world i guess. turns out her home town, borger, is very near my home town. we had so much in common. in the end i wanted to exchange numbers..but for some reason i chickened out. i have this thing about making new friends..its hard to keep in touch and be a good friend to the ones i have.. does anyone really have time to create successful new relationships? so its been weeks.. literally weeks..you should see my toes..(or maybe the point is you shouldnt see my toes).. and i keep thinking about her. i know that her mothers day will be bitter sweet.. and i hope she makes it thru it and somehow feels blessed by her 5 year old. we are so lucky to have healthy little ones in our lives. i hate that dalton has to be medicated all the time.. and that his condition wont just go away. but im so thankful that he's here. sure ava is a terd sometimes (like her mom-jk)... but she gave us such a scare and im so thankful that she's here. and for all the healthy babies i know and their mommies.. lets do the best we can. and someday theyll make awesome parents too.

i received this poem in email last year.. and forwarded it to everyone i know. i wanted to post it again. i just thinks its cool. im even posting the message i sent with it..cause i still mean it all!!!


somehow i can relate to every paragraph!!! whether its a thought about kennedy...or a dream of korbin. or my mom, whos my best friend - or the woman i called nana for 17 years...and the woman who gave up my mom so that i could spend 17 years with my nana. or watching my father lose his mother...literally. im sure you all have your own memories you can relate --- i realize that MOTHER'S DAY is 'just a hallmark holiday' in most peoples opinion, but i want you to know that i think you are all or will be wonderful mommies and i am so proud to have you as friends. miss you..james

Mothers

This is for the mothers who have sat up all night with sick toddlers in their arms, wiping up barf laced with Oscar Mayer wieners and cherry Kool-Aid saying, "It's okay honey, Mommy's here." Who have sat in rocking chairs for hours on end soothing crying babies who can't be comforted.

This is for all the mothers who show up at work with spit-up in their hair and milk stains on their blouses and diapers in their purse. For all the mothers who run carpools and make cookies and sew Halloween costumes. And all the mothers who DON'T.

This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they'll never see. And the mothers who took those babies and gave them homes.

This is for the mothers whose priceless art collections are hanging on their refrigerator doors. And for all the mothers who froze their buns on metal bleachers at football or soccer games instead of watching from the warmth of their cars, so that when their kids asked, "Did you see me, Mom?" they could say, "Of course, I wouldn't have missed it for the world," and mean it.

This is for all the mothers who yell at their kids in the grocery store and swat them in despair when they stomp their feet and scream for ice cream before dinner. And for all the mothers who count to ten instead, but realize how child abuse happens.

This is for all the mothers who sat down with their children and explained all about making babies. And for all the (grand) mothers who wanted to, but just couldn't find the words.

This is for all the mothers who go hungry, so their children can eat. For all the mothers who read "Goodnight, Moon" twice a night for a year. And then read it again. "Just one more time."

This is for all the mothers who taught their children to tie their shoelaces before they started school. And for all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead.

This is for all the mothers who teach their sons to cook and their daughters to sink a jump shot.

This is for every mother whose head turns automatically when a little voice calls "Mom?" in a crowd, even though they know their own offspring are at home -- or even away at college.

This is for all the mothers who sent their kids to school with stomach aches assuring them they'd be just FINE once they got there, only to get calls from the school nurse an hour later asking them to please pick them up. Right away.

This is for mothers whose children have gone astray, who can't find the words to reach them.

This is for all the step-mothers who raised another woman's child or children, and gave their time, attention, and love... sometimes totally unappreciated!

For all the mothers who bite their lips until they bleed when their 14-year-olds dye their hair green.

For all the mothers of the victims of recent school shootings, and the mothers of those who did the shooting. For the mothers of the survivors, and the mothers who sat in front of their TVs in horror, hugging their child who just came home from school, safely.

This is for all the mothers who taught their children to be peaceful, and now pray they come home safely from a war.

What makes a good Mother anyway? Is it patience? Compassion? Broad hips? The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time? Or is it in her heart? Is it the ache you feel when you watch your son or daughter disappear down the street, walking to school alone for the very first time? The jolt that takes you from sleep to dread, from bed to crib at 2 A.M. to put your hand on the back of a sleeping baby? The panic, years later, that comes again at 2 A.M. when you just want to hear their key in the door and know they are safe again in your home? Or the need to flee from wherever you are and hug your child when you hear news of a fire, a car accident, a child dying?

The emotions of motherhood are universal and so our thoughts are for young mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation... And mature mothers learning to let go. For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers. Single mothers and married mothers. Mothers with money, mothers without. This is for you all. For all of us. Hang in there. In the end we can only do the best we can. Tell them every day that we love them. And pray.

"Home is what catches you when you fall - and we all fall."